The Proper Restaurant

“On a Tuesday evening in Kips Bay, one discovers that The Proper Restaurant has opinions about potatoes. The shoestring format is a declaration. The double-fried exterior is adequate, which in this context constitutes a form of ambition. The interior communicates the potato's agricultural origins — present and largely coherent. The grease is calibrated with clinical precision. These opinions are, on balance, correct. Return visits are not a matter of choice but of inevitability.”

“The shoestring fry presents itself at The Proper Restaurant with an unusual degree of self-possession. The exterior is adequate, which in this context constitutes a form of ambition. The interior is present and largely coherent. The grease is calibrated with clinical precision. The portion is reasonable. One accepts the fry on its own terms. Its terms are acceptable. Return visits are not a matter of choice but of inevitability.”

“The shoestring fry presents itself at The Proper Restaurant with an unusual degree of self-possession. The exterior is adequate, which in this context constitutes a form of ambition. The interior is present and largely coherent. The grease is calibrated with clinical precision. The portion is reasonable. One accepts the fry on its own terms. Its terms are acceptable. The fry asks only to be appreciated. At The Proper Restaurant, one appreciates.”

“A kitchen that double-fries in lard has made a commitment. At The Proper Restaurant, this commitment is honored. The shoestring fry arrives crisp — adequate, which in this context constitutes a form of ambition — and present and largely coherent within. The grease is calibrated with clinical precision. The portion is reasonable. Commitments, when honored, tend to produce results. A return visit is, at this point, a formality. One will perform it nonetheless.”

“The double-fry technique employed at The Proper Restaurant produces a shoestring fry of adequate, which in this context constitutes a form of ambition exterior and present and largely coherent interior. The lard is evident and appropriate. The grease is calibrated with clinical precision. The portion is reasonable. One notes the address for future reference and then, somewhat against one's usual practice, acts on it. Best ordered without accompaniment. The fry requires no defense counsel.”