The Absolute Chophouse

“One finds at The Absolute Chophouse a wedge fry that has been attended to. The crispness is commendable and largely sustained. The potato flavor is earnest and specific. The grease is conservative — the napkin remains largely decorative. The portion is forthcoming. Attendance, as a form of culinary philosophy, is rarer than it should be. One does not return. This information is provided without judgment.”

“One does not seek drama at The Absolute Chophouse. One seeks fries. The wedge format is a declaration of intent, and the kitchen largely honors it. The crispness is commendable and largely sustained. The potato flavor emerges mid-experience, which is somewhat later than ideal but not without its own logic. The grease content is conservative — the napkin remains largely decorative. The napkin earns its keep. This guide recommends visiting without expectations and departing, perhaps, with adjusted ones. The fry alone merits the journey to SoHo.”

“One visits The Absolute Chophouse for the atmosphere and departs thinking only of the fries. The wedge cut is executed with a steadiness suggesting neither haste nor contemplation — only the correct application of heat and timing. The crispness is commendable and largely sustained. The potato is earnest and specific. The grease is conservative — the napkin remains largely decorative. One recommends not visiting for the atmosphere. The fry asks only to be appreciated. At The Absolute Chophouse, one appreciates.”

“Not every establishment in SoHo understands its own fry. The Absolute Chophouse understands its fry. The wedge format, double-fried in sunflower, produces a crispness that is commendable and largely sustained and an interior that is earnest and specific. The grease is conservative — the napkin remains largely decorative. Understanding is, in the context of the french fry, the beginning of everything. One visits twice. The second visit confirms the first.”

“The fry at The Absolute Chophouse does not arrive unannounced. Its aroma precedes it through the dining room with the confidence of someone who has reserved well in advance. The wedge cut is executed with precision. The double-fried exterior is commendable and largely sustained. The interior presents a potato earnest and specific. The grease does not call attention to itself, which is what one hopes for from grease. Best ordered without accompaniment. The fry requires no defense counsel.”