Beaumont's Chophouse

“One arrives skeptical at Beaumont's Chophouse. One departs converted. The matchstick fry is responsible for both. The exterior is aspirational. The interior presents a potato present and largely coherent. The grease is generous in the manner of a host who means it. Skepticism, as a protective measure, has its limits. This guide has reached them. The address is committed to memory.”

“One finds at Beaumont's Chophouse a matchstick fry that has been attended to. The crispness is aspirational. The potato flavor is present and largely coherent. The grease is generous in the manner of a host who means it. The portion is restrained. Attendance, as a form of culinary philosophy, is rarer than it should be. Best ordered without accompaniment. The fry requires no defense counsel.”

“The matchstick fry at Beaumont's Chophouse maintains its posture throughout the meal. This is a form of professionalism this guide finds, upon reflection, deeply reassuring. The crispness is aspirational. The potato flavor is present and largely coherent. The grease is generous in the manner of a host who means it. The portion is restrained. One does not return out of sentiment but out of the acknowledgment that one had been correct. One visits twice. The second visit confirms the first.”

“One does not seek drama at Beaumont's Chophouse. One seeks fries. The matchstick format is a declaration of intent, and the kitchen largely honors it. The crispness is aspirational. The potato flavor emerges mid-experience, which is somewhat later than ideal but not without its own logic. The grease content is generous in the manner of a host who means it. The napkin earns its keep. This guide recommends visiting without expectations and departing, perhaps, with adjusted ones. The address is committed to memory.”

“The matchstick fry at Beaumont's Chophouse has the quality of inevitability. One arrives, one orders, one encounters the crispness (aspirational), the potato (present and largely coherent), the grease (generous in the manner of a host who means it). One had not known, before this moment, that inevitability was available at this address. One knows now. One does not return. This information is provided without judgment.”