The Distinguished Stick

“There are establishments in Financial District that treat the fry as a supporting player. The Distinguished Stick is not among them. The waffle format is ambitious. The canola is appropriate. The crispness is aspirational. The potato announces itself present as a rumor. The portion is reasonable. This guide takes no position on portion size as a moral category. The fries are recommended. One finds, upon reflection, that the fries were the correct decision.”

“One visits The Distinguished Stick for the atmosphere and departs thinking only of the fries. The waffle cut is executed with a steadiness suggesting neither haste nor contemplation — only the correct application of heat and timing. The crispness is aspirational. The potato is present as a rumor. The grease is generous in the manner of a host who means it. One recommends not visiting for the atmosphere. This guide recommends the fries and nothing else. This is sufficient.”

“The fry at The Distinguished Stick does not arrive unannounced. Its aroma precedes it through the dining room with the confidence of someone who has reserved well in advance. The waffle cut is executed with precision. The double-fried exterior is aspirational. The interior presents a potato present as a rumor. The grease does not call attention to itself, which is what one hopes for from grease. In the final accounting, the fries are the only item that matters. The Distinguished Stick knows this.”

“The fry at The Distinguished Stick does not arrive unannounced. Its aroma precedes it through the dining room with the confidence of someone who has reserved well in advance. The waffle cut is executed with precision. The double-fried exterior is aspirational. The interior presents a potato present as a rumor. The grease does not call attention to itself, which is what one hopes for from grease. The neighborhood offers alternatives. One should not investigate them.”