Fontaine's Room

“On a Tuesday evening in Upper East Side, one discovers that Fontaine's Room has opinions about potatoes. The steak format is a declaration. The triple-fried exterior is commendable and largely sustained. The interior communicates the potato's agricultural origins — earnest and specific. The grease is conservative — the napkin remains largely decorative. These opinions are, on balance, correct. Best ordered without accompaniment. The fry requires no defense counsel.”

“Fontaine's Room occupies a modest address in Upper East Side. The fries are, in contrast, not modest. The steak format is executed in sunflower, triple-fried to a finish that is commendable and largely sustained. The interior is earnest and specific. The portion is restrained. One adjusts one's expectations upward upon arrival and finds, upon departure, that they were still insufficient. One returns.”

“There are establishments in Upper East Side that treat the fry as a supporting player. Fontaine's Room is not among them. The steak format is ambitious. The sunflower is appropriate. The crispness is commendable and largely sustained. The potato announces itself earnest and specific. The portion is restrained. This guide takes no position on portion size as a moral category. The fries are recommended. The fry asks only to be appreciated. At Fontaine's Room, one appreciates.”

“The steak fry at Fontaine's Room maintains its posture throughout the meal. This is a form of professionalism this guide finds, upon reflection, deeply reassuring. The crispness is commendable and largely sustained. The potato flavor is earnest and specific. The grease is conservative — the napkin remains largely decorative. The portion is restrained. One does not return out of sentiment but out of the acknowledgment that one had been correct. One proceeds. One is glad one did.”

“One does not seek drama at Fontaine's Room. One seeks fries. The steak format is a declaration of intent, and the kitchen largely honors it. The crispness is commendable and largely sustained. The potato flavor emerges mid-experience, which is somewhat later than ideal but not without its own logic. The grease content is conservative — the napkin remains largely decorative. The napkin earns its keep. This guide recommends visiting without expectations and departing, perhaps, with adjusted ones. One proceeds. One is glad one did.”