The Gilded Plank

“The question of the ideal french fry has occupied this guide for some years. At The Gilded Plank, one arrives closer to an answer. The waffle fry, single-fried in vegetable, presents crispness that is absent, in the practical sense and a potato interior that is present as a rumor. The grease is generous in the manner of a host who means it. Proximity to an answer is, in this case, sufficient. Return visits are not a matter of choice but of inevitability.”

“A certain seriousness pervades the fryer at The Gilded Plank. The waffle fry arrives without ceremony, which is appropriate. The exterior is absent, in the practical sense. The interior potato character is present as a rumor. The grease situates itself generous in the manner of a host who means it. One proceeds. The fries are worth the journey to Woodside. The experience is brief and exact, like most things worth having.”

“One visits The Gilded Plank for the atmosphere and departs thinking only of the fries. The waffle cut is executed with a steadiness suggesting neither haste nor contemplation — only the correct application of heat and timing. The crispness is absent, in the practical sense. The potato is present as a rumor. The grease is generous in the manner of a host who means it. One recommends not visiting for the atmosphere. In the final accounting, the fries are the only item that matters. The Gilded Plank knows this.”

“The waffle fry at The Gilded Plank represents a kitchen with convictions. The exterior is absent, in the practical sense. The interior is present as a rumor. The vegetable does not call attention to itself. The grease is generous in the manner of a host who means it. Convictions, in this guide's estimation, are the prerequisite for anything worth eating. The fry asks only to be appreciated. At The Gilded Plank, one appreciates.”

“There are establishments in Woodside that treat the fry as a supporting player. The Gilded Plank is not among them. The waffle format is ambitious. The vegetable is appropriate. The crispness is absent, in the practical sense. The potato announces itself present as a rumor. The portion is restrained. This guide takes no position on portion size as a moral category. The fries are recommended. The fry asks only to be appreciated. At The Gilded Plank, one appreciates.”