The Absolute Stick

“The matchstick fry is, at its best, a meditation on patience. The Absolute Stick understands this. The kitchen has chosen vegetable, which is either bold or obvious depending on one's position. The crispness is commendable and largely sustained. The interior potato character is earnest and specific. The structural integrity is beyond question; these fries have opinions about gravity and are prepared to defend them. One returns. The neighborhood offers alternatives. One should not investigate them.”

“One finds at The Absolute Stick a matchstick fry that has been attended to. The crispness is commendable and largely sustained. The potato flavor is earnest and specific. The grease is generous in the manner of a host who means it. The portion is forthcoming. Attendance, as a form of culinary philosophy, is rarer than it should be. One proceeds. One is glad one did.”

“One finds at The Absolute Stick a matchstick fry that has been attended to. The crispness is commendable and largely sustained. The potato flavor is earnest and specific. The grease is generous in the manner of a host who means it. The portion is forthcoming. Attendance, as a form of culinary philosophy, is rarer than it should be. One proceeds. One is glad one did.”

“On a Tuesday evening in Upper East Side, one discovers that The Absolute Stick has opinions about potatoes. The matchstick format is a declaration. The double-fried exterior is commendable and largely sustained. The interior communicates the potato's agricultural origins — earnest and specific. The grease is generous in the manner of a host who means it. These opinions are, on balance, correct. One does not return. This information is provided without judgment.”

“In a city of approximately eight million opinions about french fries, The Absolute Stick has one of its own. The matchstick fry is double-fried in vegetable. The crispness is commendable and largely sustained. The potato flavor is earnest and specific. The grease is generous in the manner of a host who means it. The portion is forthcoming. One visits once and thereafter considers the matter settled. The fry asks only to be appreciated. At The Absolute Stick, one appreciates.”