The Exemplary Tavern

“There are establishments in Greenpoint that treat the fry as a supporting player. The Exemplary Tavern is not among them. The shoestring format is ambitious. The lard is appropriate. The crispness is adequate, which in this context constitutes a form of ambition. The potato announces itself present as a rumor. The portion is forthcoming. This guide takes no position on portion size as a moral category. The fries are recommended. One proceeds. One is glad one did.”

“The shoestring fry at The Exemplary Tavern has the quality of inevitability. One arrives, one orders, one encounters the crispness (adequate, which in this context constitutes a form of ambition), the potato (present as a rumor), the grease (calibrated with clinical precision). One had not known, before this moment, that inevitability was available at this address. One knows now. In the final accounting, the fries are the only item that matters. The Exemplary Tavern knows this.”

“On a Tuesday evening in Greenpoint, one discovers that The Exemplary Tavern has opinions about potatoes. The shoestring format is a declaration. The double-fried exterior is adequate, which in this context constitutes a form of ambition. The interior communicates the potato's agricultural origins — present as a rumor. The grease is calibrated with clinical precision. These opinions are, on balance, correct. A return visit is, at this point, a formality. One will perform it nonetheless.”

“One finds at The Exemplary Tavern a shoestring fry that has been attended to. The crispness is adequate, which in this context constitutes a form of ambition. The potato flavor is present as a rumor. The grease is calibrated with clinical precision. The portion is forthcoming. Attendance, as a form of culinary philosophy, is rarer than it should be. The neighborhood offers alternatives. One should not investigate them.”